It’s frustrating that I often take days and days to write something down, usually after enough time has passed for the memory and emotional impact of the event to start fading. I have a terrible memory, and I underestimate that often. Perhaps that’s part of having a terrible memory?

The Wreck

My flight to Beijing left out of Atlanta at 11:05AM on March 5th, so I was going up the evening before to spend some time with Will and Gabe before the trip. As per usual, it took me way longer to get ready than I had initially planned. It basically took me all day to pack for China and then get all the little parts of my life in order and ready to be left on their own for a week and a half.

It was around 7:00PM and I was driving north on 316. I was in the far left lane, and was going to pass the car in the right lane in front of me. Right as I began to get next to them (in their blind spot, I suppose), the car started to change lanes into mine. It was one of those things where they turned their blinker on the moment they started moving, as though having that blinker on somehow made a difference. I honked but they kept coming so all I could do to avoid it was swerve left - off the road. That part of 316 has recently been under a lot of construction, so there’s a very high drop off between the road and the ground beside it.

I slammed on my brakes of course, and attempted to steer back on to the road. But at that point it was too late. How can one know what to do in that sort of situation? Whatever it was, it didn’t work. I lost control, and the car began to swerve. I moved left and right across the road and then as I approached the grass median, I felt the car begin to tip over.

Before that moment, I still held out hope that this would just be a temporary thing. I’d get the car straightened out, and then be on my way. This was the point where I realized everything was about to get real. I just shouted “OH FUCK” and held on to the wheel.

The car rolled. In my memory it went over several times but it may have just been once. This moment was like I was watching a movie shot in first person. I watched my hands grip the wheel. I saw the world turn over and watched the glass break in the front windshield. But I wasn’t there. I was somehow separate. Panicked, but also thoughtful. I knew that if I were to die, or get injured, it was about to happen, so I think my mind left my body a little bit as some kind of defense mechanism.

But it came back pretty quick. I was hanging there upside down, suspended by my seatbelt, and miraculously unharmed. I took a minute and looked around. I said a prayer of thanks that I was still alive. Someone was there almost immediately. Knocking on my driver’s side window, asking if I was alright. I said yes, but I wasn’t really paying attention. All I wanted to do was get out of the car. I tried the driver’s door and it wouldn’t budge. So I unbuckled my seat belt. I flipped over and crawled to the backseat.

As I crawled back there, I passed a bottle of Trader Joe’s wine. I was surprised that it wasn’t broken, and that it was even there. I haven’t been to Trader Joe’s for months and months. Where did it come from? I also grabbed my bookbag. I checked to see if my computer was broken. That’s honestly the only thing I was worried about right then. It was the only thing in that car that I felt couldn’t be completely replaced.

The guy outside helped me open the rear driver door and then helped me out of the car. I shook his hand. Mainly because I had no idea what to do. I was pretty stunned. Then other people started showing up. There were a lot of people talking to me then, asking if I was alright. Asking if the police had been called. One guy showed up saying he was an EMT and made me go sit down somewhere while we waited. He said he had seen people walk away from accidents and then two days later be completely paralyzed. Something about the adrenaline, I guess.

When the cops came I gave them my ID. Then the fire department came and put me on a stretcher. They said with this type of wreck they were required to transport me this way, despite my protests. They put my neck in an immobilizer and told me to keep still.

As I was being strapped in, a guy came and said that he was going to grab all my stuff and keep it at his place so it didn’t go to the impound. He gave his card to the EMT and then the EMT put it in my pocket. They also asked me if there was anything that needed to come with me. “My bag!” I said (again, the computer), “And my suitcase.” “What color is the suitcase?” They asked. I honestly couldn’t remember. Was it green? Black? The stress of the moment didn’t help, but to be fair, I’ve never really known what color the damn thing is anyway. So we left it and they grabbed my backpack. They rolled me to the ambulance and it was all roofs the rest of the way.

The Ambulance

Don’t move your head. Try not to look around. I’m going to have to cut your pants off. “Whoa. What?” The hospital is probably going to do it anyway. They don’t want you to move. “Please don’t cut my pants off. I’m fine and I like these pants.” Okay, but you’re just delaying the inevitable.

We didn’t have to go far. Me and the fireman chatted about football the whole ride. He was an Auburn fan. We talked about what happened year before last at the game.

We got to the hospital and it was more strange noises and different roofs. I guess those stretchers have some kind of hydraulics. Very smooth ride. I didn’t know what hospital I was at. I couldn’t look at the people who were talking to me. I started signing things at that point.

The Hospital Room

More new people. They rolled me from the stretcher to the hospital bed. The doctor was there, and checked my extremities, making sure that I could feel everything, seeing if I had an injured neck or back. They hooked me up to monitoring equipment and gave me a hospital gown. Once they were pretty certain that I hadn’t injured anything important, they told me they’d order some X-Rays to make sure I was okay and then they were gone.

And it was quiet. And I was alone. And I was finally able to make some phone calls. That part sucks, because up until then I hadn’t had to talk about what just happened. Everyone I’d encountered in the last batshit crazy hour of my life pretty much knew what was going on. They were there to help. And now I was going to have to have that conversation with the people who were most important to me.

The first was practical. Will and Gabe were expecting me in Atlanta so I called Will and left a message about what had happened. I figured he’d have to be my ride in to Atlanta, so I told him to call me when he could.

Next, I called my parents. They took it about as well as could be expected. They were at dinner.